New Smack Talk

Have you recently put the smack down on someone and felt tired of disparaging them with the same old phrases? Fear not! I now provide fresh barbs and jeers to let your victims know how witty and skilled you are.

· Put that in the oven and bake it.

· Put that in the food processor and puree it.

· Put that in a pan and baste it.

· Mark that on your answer sheet and fill in the answer circle completely.

· Put that in your rectum and shit it out.

· Put that in your bank account and accrue interest on it.

· Your table just got bussed!

· Put that in spandex and write a comic about it.

· Spill chemicals on that and wash it off in the safety shower.

· Douse that in gasoline and torch it.

· Mug that and take its wallet.

· Steal that and pawn it.

· Hijack that and fence it.

· Put that on a leash and take it for a walk.

· Rent that and watch it.

· Put that under oath and cross-examine it.

· Collect that and alphabetize it.

· Take that to the Laundromat and dry-clean it.

· Adopt that and raise it.

· Put that in your stock portfolio and trade it.

· Kill that for its beliefs and canonize it.

· Don’t make me naturally select your ass.

And finally:

X that and Y it!